through the morning, through the night

December 8, 2008 § 1 Comment

stop this before it really gets going

I just sneezed and the red throat drop I’ve been sucking on flew out of my mouth down the front of the white button up shirt I’m wearing.

I had a such a nice morning. Woke up for a bit at seven then went back to sleep till about eleven. Very nice. But then as I was dusting my apartment I started sneezing. Alot! At first I thought the sneezing was from the dust, but no it was not. I’ve been sneezy and drippy and achy in the throat the rest of the day.

Since I got home from this awesome birthday party-for my cousin’s two year old boy Milo-I’ve been reading sci-fi and about early theories (Greek) on how the universe works. I wish I could visit mars (total recall mars) and that the universe revolved around me.

My apartment is warm and cozy and smells like pumpkin spice candles. I’m laying here on my couch listening to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss’ cd. So good! Such nice music to listen to on a wintery evening with the chilly air just on the other side of the window.

I’ve been thinking about this 1982 punk documentary I watched last night called Another State of Mind with some nice folks at Jonathan’s. Watching the movie and listening to why some of these dudes were into punk made me think of K records and why I was so attracted to Calvin Johnson’s approach to music and life.

And then of course I thought back to when I was first introduced to indie music and how that changed my life. I really wouldn’t be the person I am today without this introduction. I’m sure of it. Actually, if I hadn’t met the person who introduced me to it, I would be on a totally different path. My view of the world was so narrow. I thought I would do this and be this person and that was that. Even though my life has taken a few turns I didn’t expect that have been pretty difficult, I’m really glad I’ve taken risks and tried things I would have never imagined I could or would do as a pretty straight seventeen year old who just started dating a very interesting, very alive dude!

_______________________________________________________________________________

Having lived here in Seattle a year and a half now and in my apartment just about a year I’m feeling settled and so good about where I am. (this is excluding work related ridiculousness!) This is the first time in so long that I’ve really felt at home. I’m content. I love my friends and I’m close to my family now.

It is a bit frustrating though that the universe keeps throwing me weird shit in the slow dancing partner category. Nothing has quite lined up to work. People are either not interested, seeing other people, living far away, moving far away, are interested but I’m not…but you know what? Although its frustrating at times, I like that I’m experiencing all sorts of people and situations…meeting people and connecting with people or not connecting. It makes me feel alive.

Taking risks, taking names, taking time, taking nothing, taking everything, taking numbers. Dancing at shows with dudes who want to buy me sandwiches and meet me at Dicks to walk with me in the rain. Writing letters to a sweet person who makes me smile and feel so good! Taking a paddle boat in the night across the lake. My hand being held unexpectedly in the dark. So nice. So affirming that the universe is going to throw me a whopper one of these days thats going to knock my socks off. I know it. I’ll be patient.

But I’m not going to be patient in the body being weak and not feeling well department. I don’t want to be sick right now!! Please, send positive vibes this way! Help this be a 24 hour cold! Are there such things? I think with enough positive energy there could! I’m counting on you!

*let your loss be your lesson*

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