you know friend, this is a god damn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation…
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well, maybe…..
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today was a day of reading, listening, watching, thinking, relaxing and now writing…here and in my new journal for the year which was a lovely gift from a lovely friend.

oh how introspection can take over my brain…spent a chunk of the day, how i often do when i have alot of time on my hands, thinking about my life, experiences, places i’ve been, people i love, where i want to explore, what i’d like to do when i’m fifty…..what i’d like to do tonight and five days from now…

i have had a very relaxing day, but found myself at times a bit lonely. i am definitely a proponent of alone time, but as my thoughts aren’t always occupied with happy, fun, pleasing things, i will have series of moments when a small sailboat of thoughts gets thrown about on rough watery pathways in my brain connecting what-ifs, people i miss, and seemingly hopeless situations. this in between reading rad reviews, blogs about living in south america, finishing brokeback mountain for the first time, reading inspiring articles about successful art spaces and connecting bradford cox to other musicians i dig-things i’ve immensely enjoyed throughout the day…which makes me really try to gain perspective on my current location in the grand scheme of things.

so…yeah. i’ve had an awesome day sprinkled with some ugh times. i actually really end up liking days like today as they can be challenging but also relaxing and hopeful. today i’ve been able to read up on and reflect on awesome shit; acknowledge my feelings-positive and otherwise; and attempt to learn from rough blows by trying to look at some unsatisfactory situations in more constructive ways and instead of so much wishful thinking, focusing on the good right in front of me-here and now…..
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obsessing over:
atlas sound (old and new….presently listening to “you’re so fine” off the altitude sickness ep)
here and there in the new york art scene 1940s-1980s
the small black record i bought on my trip: umm…..yes!!!
pomegranate juice with fizzy water
music that moves me
finding new tunes, making mixes
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and you can follow me back to where we met…

i’ve been thinking alot about the idea of home. what makes a place home? home being the actual place in which you live (house, apt, room…) or the idea of being at peace with yourself, or the actual space, community and city in which you live. i’ve also been thinking alot about love and relationships i have with people in my life. and about connecting with people…and this brings me to what i’ve been putting off till after the holidays-brainstorming what i want to do in the next couple of years….with a focus on living life and loving in the fullest possible ways!

in addition to my ten in ten goals, i plan to thoughtfully brainstorm where i’m at and where i’d like to go. think: massive pro/con lists, messing with my finances, traveling, exploring ideas and places, classes, volunteering….i’ve been putting it off but the time has come! its going to be massively fun and intense! i think a big part of really figuring shit out and following through with this hinges on being in a space (mentally, physically, what have you) where i am at home with myself.

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thinking about:
doing something crazy with my hair
riding a horse
singing a song to you at the top of my lungs
what it would be like to jump off a cliff into a lagoon
snow
holding hands
seeing avatar in 3D
sleep
bikes
my awesome friends

…got a one man show

so begins 2010…

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i’ve got a belly full of popcorn, candy and chinese food. and eyes tried from a big screen movie, a movie downloaded by my bro, and now some tv on dvd. as i sit alone on his couch as the third hour of the newest year approaches, i’m excited to start fresh on such a mellow positive vibe. i finished goals for the year and feel pretty stoked to get started on them straight away…

so. if you didn’t know, i was asked to participate in a lovely thing called “ten in two thousand ten“. click that link and you’ll be taken to a blog my friend michele set-up to track hers, mine and some other nice people’s goals for this year. i’ll repost them here, but keep updated over on that site, if you’d like…

1. react to drama in a positive way; constructively

2. participate in at least three races/regattas

3. dance more, especially in public

4. write a letter and send it at least once every two weeks

5. travel to at least two countries, preferably france (paris), canada, belgium and/or germany (berlin)

6. do at least one thing just for myself each day

7. buy a new plant and keep it alive

8. try/make/bake/create, etc one new thing a month…treats, art, music, food…

9. create a mission/blueprint/business plan of some sort for a possible art/music space

10. finish reading at least one of the two books my brother gave me recently- the moonstone by wilkie collins or the name of the wind by patrick rothfuss (they are both 400+pages)
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happy new year! love you!

play all night….

down down baby down by the rollercoasters…

a couple brooklyn bands to celebrate my arrival to nyc……..

i want to go surfing with you!

wishful thinking…

….timing is everything

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what do you do when this kind of opportunity presents itself? the universe has made it relatively easy. now, follow through….certainly, i wouldn’t be feeling like i do if the timing of a number of things were different…
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risk it. be bold. do it.

miss you……………..

love love

*sigh*

cathedral with no eyes: white rainbow remix

dusty fingers….

mississippi records

………come over and daannce with me…

move in the right direction……..
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i’m usually not a new year resolution type person, but for two thousand ten, i have a goal that i think can only do me well: keep my life drama free

something else i’d like to focus on is to dance more. i really enjoy wiggling around my house and car and occasionally with friends but until recently i rarely get the bug-the urge to do it in public. but the urge arrived last week. i’d like to harness it and drag it around with me………….just in case.
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yes

miracles

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this video is pretty cheesy, but i dig thom yorke’s version of this song!